Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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