i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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