So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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