I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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