of course. lets lasso hookers.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
