Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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