Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize