my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
