i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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