why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I wish you could order shots online.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
