the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
