Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
