Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
