I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
