I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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