found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
