just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
