I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
