a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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