It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
