Do you still have your period?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
