The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
