Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
