Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
