Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
