Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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