im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
