did you get engaged???
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
