That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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