So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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