You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
