Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
