To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
