after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
as a side note pls kill me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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