well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
