Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
