He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
