Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
