he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
