I cannot find my penis.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
how drunk are you?
Several
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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