you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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