People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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