Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
