dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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