quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just sent this text using only my big toe
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize