He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
