my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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