Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
