Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
