So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
