I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
