the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
