I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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