Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
