Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
