I puked a lego.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
