I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
