Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
