The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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