I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Blood and glitter go together right?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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