just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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