I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
