The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i came on her dog
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize