I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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