Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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