Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
