I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize