did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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